Wants and Obsessions
It’s weird how the universe works. That saying that there are no coincidences seems more and more profound to me. Right now, I’m doing a program called Moonshine, which is an art witchery program. To me, it’s another path of exploring my spirituality and one that I’ve been interested in for a long time. It’s been a want of mine and I’m finally doing it.
Which brings me to today’s post. One of the first activities I engaged in was to take fifteen minutes to write all my wants. We are raised to not want things because wanting is bad. I mean who has heard the phrase, “want in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one fills up the fastest?” It was liberating to finally SEE the words that to WANT something is not a bad thing. And, it clicked for me, finally, that my wanting to go back to school was not selfish. It is something the ex told me on his way out of our marriage that I was selfish for putting my own desire of a college education before him and our kids. By the way, I don’t believe that sentiment is true. Were there times that I had to focus on a test or a term paper and ask him to watch OUR children or ask our daycare provider if it was okay to watch them a little longer? Yes!
I felt guilty for too long for wanting what I wanted and doing that when my kids were young. I remain convinced that I would have not been a good mom had I not pursued my education and decided to completely put their needs and the needs of their dad ahead of my own.
I’m putting it out there, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting things. There is nothing wrong with putting it out into the universe and sharing it with those you trust about the things you want. It does not make you selfish. It does not make you bad. It makes you human and it helps you to live the life YOU want to live. And sometimes those wants will be in conflict with what someone else wants and that’s okay too. Don’t you dare give up YOUR wants in order to make someone else happy. When you do that, you are lessening your value because you matter equally to their value.
Then the other thing that happened in connection with listing of my wants, I read this post by Renee Magnusson on obsessions and how having (healthy) obsessions is also not a bad thing. I mean, seriously go read that post now. The way I read that post is all about tapping into the things that make you happy and indulging in them and not feeling guilty for doing so. For instance, I’m obsessed with sparkly things. I have shoes that sparkle, sparkly eyeshadow, sparkly pretties to wear (earrings, necklaces, rings) etc., because when I have sparkly in my life, it makes me smile.
For instance, these are my sparkly Skechers (which I just found out they still have for sale and so picked up an extra pair, like right now)!
Last year, I bought these beauties (who doesn’t love all that is Betsy Johnson?) from Posh and got them for a steal. Sadly, I’ve only been able to wear them once since the pandemic.
Renee talks about using her pinterest board as a way to acknowledge her obsessions. I love this idea and if something speaks to my soul, then my plan will be to figure out a way to have it in my life, which could be through purchasing or creating it (or the idea of it) in some way.
2021 is going to be a year committed to release (my intention) but also to listening and acknowledging what speaks to my soul. And I’m going to commit to documenting those wants and obsessions right here on my blog. I hope you will partake in the journey and let me know what you think.
What are your wants for 2021? What are you obsessed with?
P.S. I’m also kind of obsessed with both Renee and Effy, but not in a weird stalkerish kind of way.
I love shoes too but I think our obsession with acquiring possessions is not healthy. Last night I watched The Minimalists movie and it was inspiring. New possessions are only satisfying briefly whereas connection and purpose provide more satisfaction. They had a 30 day challenge to remove objects for donation sale or bin from our homes. They explain how capitalism is based on selling more and more stuff. Anyway, I’ll be culling my stuff.
Hi Pamela, I get what you are saying completely. I don’t always think a want is equal to having to buy something. And in fact, if your wants are only about buying things, then most likely, you are only going to be happy momentarily. When I wrote down my list of wants, it was more about those core things that were intrinsic than those that are extrinsic.
Love this! And you will hear people say that this is material and a temporary high. Don’t listen. As a spiritual practice covet and obsessions are a link to who you really are. And it is revolutionary for women to want. There is a difference between wanting something that goes bone deep and mindlessly buying crap. You can be minimalist and still covet and you can be a maximalist and still covet. The rules are yours to make and break.
Also, those glitter heels! I die.
The rules are yours to make and break. This right here is liberation. I want things that are both material and immaterial. The point is to name what I want without fearing naming it. And that was what was so so liberating for me, because women aren’t supposed to want things. We are supposed to be “just fine” and live to make other people happy. And in doing so, we destroy ourselves in the process. Or, if we do name what we want, we are labeled selfish and not putting the needs of others before ourselves. And I am DONE with THIS.
Love this. 🙂