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Change
Sometimes change happens, even if you don’t want it. If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I was thrust into a change that I never anticipated, nor wanted. And I’m still working on what the change means for me and for what kind of life I want for the remaining days (and…
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She/Her
She is soft-edges Scars criss-crossed on her heart Her eyes smile Betraying the depth of Pain inflicted on her soul She is strength Hardened by words spoken to break her Her smile is warmth Sadness supressed Uncorked, bubbling beneath the surface She is love Hear heart beating her power into existence © by Christal February 2019
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I’ve done a thing
Something that I have done a lot of over the year and half since the ex dropped the bomb is listen to podcasts. There are a lot available out there to listen to and cover everything from politics, true crime to self help. Prior to the bomb drop, I was partial to true crime podcasts, like Serial and Undisclosed. Then…
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Darkness and Light
The last few weeks have been really tough for me for some reason. I was in a dark place. I don’t know if it’s the because of the weather which has been really wet, a few weeks of insomnia, or if it’s the fact that the ex called me during the holidays or everything combined. Actually, it is probably due…
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Flower
Turning inward, shriveled petals Seeking the nurturing power of loving Words never spoken You are beautiful and you are loved. Small, powerless, wilted and bent Deprived of sustenance needed to grow Into magnificence You are beautiful and you are loved. Feeling the sun, receiving its grace The wind whispers the secret through time and space You are beautiful and you…
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Suck it up Buttercup!
When you start missing him, you need to remind yourself of the torture he inflicted upon you. Someone who claims to love and care about another would not have done what he did. You need to remind yourself that you are worth so much more than the love he chose to give when he felt like giving it as if…
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Dating and Loving Yourself
While dating, I am also working on myself. The damage done during the end of my marriage brought up a lot of trauma that I had managed to bury for many years.
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Choices
We all have choices. I have chosen to fight for myself. I am worthy of that. If you cannot be a warrior by my side. And let the enemy enter the gate, You have chosen to fight against me. And I choose to let you go.
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Amputation
A part of my heart has been amputated,removed by the scalpel of his words,leaving me wanting for the phantom of our future that is no longer and never will be. A part of my heart has been amputated,it beats differently now, hurt, aching, betrayed,a desperate want to feel the familiar,yet knowing the past is no longer and never was. A…
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this dating thing can suck
I got married young. I met the ex at the age of 19 and married him at the age of 20. I can count on one hand the number of guys I dated prior to meeting the ex and I would have a couple of fingers left. That’s how inexperienced I am with this whole dating thing. I guess what…
