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July
It’s been two years since my life changed in a way that I never anticipated. I still struggle with being alone. I still struggle with this new reality. So much has changed over these past two years. I think it’s hard when you are forced to make a decision that you never wanted nor anticipated. And again, I struggle because…
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limitations
My brother called me stupid All the time when I was a little girl I now have a bachelor and a master’s degree My husband said he couldn’t stand the sound of my voice at the end of our marriage I now have a weekly podcast I refuse to let the limitations of others define my own limitations ©christal hall…
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Change
Sometimes change happens, even if you don’t want it. If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I was thrust into a change that I never anticipated, nor wanted. And I’m still working on what the change means for me and for what kind of life I want for the remaining days (and…
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I’ve done a thing
Something that I have done a lot of over the year and half since the ex dropped the bomb is listen to podcasts. There are a lot available out there to listen to and cover everything from politics, true crime to self help. Prior to the bomb drop, I was partial to true crime podcasts, like Serial and Undisclosed. Then…
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Nothing Justifies Bad Behavior
I belong to a few divorce groups, some are women only and others are a combination of men and women. When I first started on this divorce journey, I mostly sought out groups that were about healing and recovery. There are some groups that are great at this, while others are nothing but bitch/slam fests when it comes to the…
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Darkness and Light
The last few weeks have been really tough for me for some reason. I was in a dark place. I don’t know if it’s the because of the weather which has been really wet, a few weeks of insomnia, or if it’s the fact that the ex called me during the holidays or everything combined. Actually, it is probably due…
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Suck it up Buttercup!
When you start missing him, you need to remind yourself of the torture he inflicted upon you. Someone who claims to love and care about another would not have done what he did. You need to remind yourself that you are worth so much more than the love he chose to give when he felt like giving it as if…
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Dating and Loving Yourself
While dating, I am also working on myself. The damage done during the end of my marriage brought up a lot of trauma that I had managed to bury for many years.
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Amputation
A part of my heart has been amputated,removed by the scalpel of his words,leaving me wanting for the phantom of our future that is no longer and never will be. A part of my heart has been amputated,it beats differently now, hurt, aching, betrayed,a desperate want to feel the familiar,yet knowing the past is no longer and never was. A…
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You could never forgive me
That is the last e-mail you sent to me and it has made me angry. My therapist has asked me when I’m going to be angry with you and I think I’m getting there. I am angry because while you seek my forgiveness, you have never forgiven me for my one transgression against you. Your actions for 7 months spoke…
